Dear iPhone,

Please stay intact for the next month or so. I know I dropped you on the ground in the rain with no real cover, but I need you. Just for this month. I know you are cracked. No longer the gorgeous thing you used to be. I know I am horrible and will soon be trading you in for a younger prettier model, but until then, you are my one and only. Promise.

Love (for now),
Your user

Dear Gossip Girl,

I know I am much too old to watch you, or to have ever started watching you. I gave you a chance, however, and began to appreciate your characters and drama. And how do you repay such loyalty? With ridiculous plot lines that barely make sense. With characters who act in a manner no human being should. With throwing characters into relationships with each other for no reason. With raccoon makeup on the most fresh faced girl on the show. With a complete lack of class and school for characters who are supposedly in high school and college. Good job.

Love,
Not so gossip-y girl